Mat 26:20-35
During the Last Supper, Jesus was still trying to convince the disciples that the soldiers were going to come, He was going to suffer, die and be resurrected on the third day. They were so resistant to His message because all their lives they had believed that when Messiah came He would come as a king. While they were celebrating the Passover feast in the upper room (Mat 26:17-19), Jesus trumped Moses by changing the Passover into the Eucharist.
Everything was happening so fast now that the disciples were struggling to keep up with all He was saying. During the meal He dropped a nuke on them that had them all upset. One of them was going to betray Him (Mat 26:21). Their spirits were already low from the stress of being hunted but when they heard this they were all deeply grieved as each one searched his soul wondering, “Is it me?” (26:22) After Judas had left, Jesus quoting Zech 13:7, told the disciples that all of them would run away when the soldiers came to arrest him (26:31) as a fulfillment of a Messianic prophecy. He then gave them instruction to meet Him in Galilee after he had been resurrected (26:32). This is the scene where we find Peter and take a view of his thoughts.
Peter was quiet and Peter was never quiet. He was quiet because he was angry. Angry with the situation, angry with Jesus but especially angry with himself. He was angry at the Jewish leaders because they refused to accept Him as Messiah and they wanted to kill them all. He was angry with Jesus for the depressive talk and prediction of His death. He isn’t going to die if I can help it, Peter said to himself, He is going to be king and I am going to rule with Him. He was angry with Himself for blowing it so badly with Jesus. He called me satan! How could He call me satan?! I was just trying to get Him out of His depression and wanted Him to stop talking about dying.
Now Jesus had shocked them all with the news that they would all run away when the soldiers came. Peter snorted in his soul, run away? Not hardly! This is why I have this sword. I will never run, I will die before I run. I will never let anyone call me a coward.
Peter’s belief system held a very common but false idea about manhood. Peter believed that real men did not run nor abandon their friends and that those who did were cowards. He also held that cowardly men had no worth in the eyes of man and even in the eyes of God. Peter’s belief system placed a very high priority on the opinions of others. In his heart, from his early boyhood, Peter had always believed that he was not worthy of love and respect. He had worked very hard his whole life to build his mask of competence, manliness and false bravado hoping others could not see through his mask and he could earn love and respect. Now, he told himself, if he ran, then he would be exposed as a coward, disloyal and worthless and that everyone especially Jesus would know he was worthless.
Peter looked at Jesus and said, even if everyone else runs away, I will never run away. One wonders what response Peter expected from Jesus after he made this dramatic promise. He might have expected Jesus to thank him or for Jesus to praise him for his courage, but it is doubtful that he expected what came next. One must also wonder what tone Jesus used when He foretold what Peter would do. It is for certain that He knew the struggle in Peter’s heart and in all men’s hearts. Surely He was compassionate when with total specificity, He told Peter that “truly, tonight before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times” (26:34). Those words felt like a physical blow to Peter.
What?!! I will deny you? I will not only run away, but I will claim that I am not one of your disciples? Peter was overwhelmed by what Jesus said and felt backed into a corner. He could not imagine himself doing what he had just heard. Peter looked Jesus in the eye and said, I will die with you but I will never disown you. He was sure that that would convince Jesus of his sincerity. He wanted Jesus to accept his word so bad, but Jesus just smiled and turned to leave for Gethsemane. Peter felt relieved that the confrontation was over. Making sure he had his sword, Peter followed Jesus out into the street.
Faced with the challenge of his own fear, Peter answered the challenge by summoning his courage out of his flesh. Peter believed that Jesus wanted him to show courage and loyalty through his own efforts and power. Not understanding that God knew his weakness and had accepted him even as a coward, Peter felt compelled to produce courage from his flesh. Peter had yet to face his own depravity and value himself based on God’s grace. He still determined his value to Jesus based on what he produced from his flesh. Jesus saw right through his foolish strategy to impress Him with his pseudo loyalty and courage. Peter had to be broken and his dependence on himself had to be broken. If he was to lead the church into the new dispensation, he had to depend only on God and His grace. That night was the beginning of Peter’s sifting by satan which became God’s way of freeing him of his dependence on himself. That night, Peter wept like a child when his human courage broke and he showed what mankind is really like.
Are you ready, are you willing to be broken from your dependence on yourself so that God can pour His power into you?
