Performance for Praise

What would you say is the dominant feeling you experience within yourself most of the time, asked the counselor? Rob thought only a moment and answered, “anxious and sometimes afraid”. What are you anxious about the counselor asked? I don’t know, Rob answered, it doesn’t seem to be connected to anything in particular but I feel it just about all the time. It may have something to do with fear of failure or something to do with not measuring up in comparison to my peers. I do know I feel it very strong at work when something important is on the line. Normally it feels like a low-grade constant fear but when I have to come through under pressure it can almost choke me. I understand, said the counselor, you would be surprised how many people feel the same way.

Man is a performance driven creature and that means all of us. The reasons for this “performance for praise” system goes all the way back to the fall of Adam and has infected every member of the human race. Let’s see if we can get a handle on why this is and how we built the idea that our performance determines our success.

God and only God has the resources to give in grace. In order to give in grace, which means to give freely without expectation of return, you have to be very secure about your own needs. Many people who have much, give little becuase they are fearful about having enough. God owns everything and has His needs totally fulfilled at any given moment, (always has and knows He always will). In His state of complete fulfillment, He can give to all not needing anything back.

In contrast, fallen man is desperately needy. After the fall, all of us are born spiritually dead and separated from God. This separation causes us to be cut off from the only Person who can truly meet our needs, that is God. He designed the human soul so that it can only be complete and happy when we are in an intimate relationship with Him. What a terrible dilemma, to need God in order to meet our needs, but cut off from God from birth. At best, none of us are able to resolve this issue until we are 5-6 years old. For most of us, it takes much longer to come to Christ, which allows God to bless us. All of us come into life very, very needy, totally helpless to meet our needs but driven by instinct to attach to whomever is in our life. The only option we have is to attach to other needy people instead of God.

Among needy people, the rule is you get what you can earn. In order to get something from another, you have to give something first or find some other way persuade them to give you something. Fallen man evaluates the worth of other fallen men based on what we achieve, what we deserve and what we bring to the table. In order for us to be considered successful and therefore worthy of respect/love we have to perform some kind of measurable action that others can see or experience. Fallen man is a worker and measures his worth based on what he achieves in the eyes of others. This is how we grow up, in this works system.

When we go to school, it is this same way. Popularity is based on looks, personality, dress and what kind of car mom drives. To be considered anyone or anything, we have to bring assets to the table. These assets are compared with those of others and it is how you measure up that determines whether you are a winner or loser. No wonder we are so performance driven. From our earliest days, we learn that if we want praise we have to do something good to get it. If we want to be popular we must bring ability, beauty or keep up with the recent style. When we become adults, very little changes. Have you been to a high school reunion? Everyone is still comparing levels of success based on wealth or social standing. What does change is that few are still using their looks as a basis of popularity.

Rob grew up separated from God and built his operating beliefs as a reaction to his parent’s performance driven demands and those of his peers. He always knew he had to perform if he wanted to be loved and accepted. If he wanted a pretty wife he had to be a good earner. If he wanted his parent’s approval he had to finish college and enter a professional field. And on it goes. It is no wonder that Rob is afraid. He has to keep on producing to be loved and if he fails, he will be counted worthless.

When we were saved, God gave us everything that we will ever need or have, before we did a single thing. He put us into union with Christ, imputed His own righteousness to us and guaranteed our eternal joy. All that we did was believe the gospel. With God, we needed nothing, did nothing, gave nothing, brought nothing to the table and He in grace, gave us everything forever. In the Christian life after salvation, God uses the same grace system to evaluate His children. We are already accepted in the Beloved, we are already winners in Christ, we are already as loved by God as we will ever be. The works we perform for God are never so that we can be accepted or promoted, but because we love Him for giving us so much. We work because He did love us not so that He will love us.

But there is a problem, a big problem. When we were saved, we brought our old system, our performance system into the Christian life. From birth we built our beliefs about worth around performance. Even though God does not operate like we do, we believe He does and we think He is calling for production in exchange for blessings. We take our performance for praise way of life and impose it upon the scriptures. This is why so many fall prey to lealistic religion. It fits with our most basic beliefs. Even when we see beyond it in the scriptures, it is very hard to shake from our souls. Most of us still live in lust for praise and the fear that we will never be worth anything in the eyes of our peers. We still believe that the praise of our peers is necessary for us to be successful and happy. We still believe the old way, deep down in the core of our hearts. Our core motives are still centered on meeting those needs that have already been met in Christ.
YIKES!! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to our Lord Jesus Christ.

The reason performance for praise is so pervasive even after knowing the truth about God’s grace is that it goes to the core of what we built from birth. The old relational strategies that we used to coax love and friendship from our peers are still in force and still the way we operate with others. This causes us to live in fear of failure and creates insecurities in our realtionships.

I find myself still trying to prove that I am worth loving and worthy of respect by what I can produce. Every time I catch myself performing, hoping others will notice and thinking that this time they will see and be impressed, I stop myself and confront those thoughts. I confront that voice that tells me I have to work and perform and I call it what it is, a lie from the devil. Having called the lie a lie, I then seek the truth from the scriptures. I tell myself that God loves me as much as He is able to love (and that is a whole lotta love) no matter what I produce. God wants me to live with Him forever even though He knows every stinking thing about me. Jesus has promised to take me with Him wherever He is, not because of me or what I produce, but in spite of me. I am safe! I am worthy in Christ, now and forever without ever producing another good deed. I have been accepted by the only person who really matters, already accepted in Christ. When we catch ourselves telling the lie (through paying attention to our inner dialogue – see earlier articles), then confront the lies and refuse to believe them anymore, we can then embrace the truth by faith – transformation by renewing your mind.

Father, help us stop believing we are worth what we produce and help us believe that we have the same worth as Christ. Confront our dependence on self and free us from competing with and comparing ourselves to other believers. Help us to relax in your love and grace and work like crazy because we love you.